Estee Chaikin

Sharing the new currency of meaning

Hi there, thanks you for stopping by. I love designing new services and disruptive business models. Originally from the USA, I am currently living in Amsterdam.

THE Biggest Barrier

It hear it time and time again. The same discussion with friends make it clear to me. Most of our conversations go something like this…how I need to make a change, why I deserve better, how frustrating life is because of this problem and that problem. My response is always – what is holding you back?!

I received this lovely essay from my friend Lauren and we had this type of conversation but it was a bit different. She recognised that this essay summed it all up very well and has now helped remind her of taking control of making the change because FEAR is the catalyst for new things to happen. And what is the most difficult thing to grasp when wanting to make that change? Read on….

Turning the Fear of Transformation into the Transformation of Fear by Danaan Parry

Sometimes I feel that my life is a series of trapeze swings. I’m either hanging on to a trapeze bar swinging along or, for a few moments in my life, I’m hurtling across space in between trapeze bars.

Most of the time, I spend my life hanging on for dear life to my trapeze-bar-of-the-moment. It carries me along at a certain steady rate of swing and I have the feeling that I’m in control of my life.

I know most of the right questions and even some of the answers.

But every once in a while as I’m merrily (or even not-so-merrily) swinging along, I look out ahead of me into the distance and what do I see? I see another trapeze bar swinging toward me. It’s empty and I know, in that place in me that knows, that this new trapeze bar has my name on it. It is my next step, my growth, my aliveness coming to get me. In my heart of hearts I know that, for me to grow, I must release my grip on this present, well-known bar and move to the new one.

Each time it happens to me I hope (no, I pray) that I won’t have to let go of my old bar completely before I grab the new one. But in my knowing place, I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar and, for some moment in time, I must hurtle across space before I can grab onto the new bar.

Each time, I am filled with terror. It doesn’t matter that in all my previous hurtles across the void of unknowing I have always made it. I am each time afraid that I will miss, that I will be crushed on unseen rocks in the bottomless chasm between bars. I do it anyway. Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call the faith experience. No guarantees, no net, no insurance policy, but you do it anyway because somehow to keep hanging on to that old bar is no longer on the list of alternatives. So, for an eternity that can last a microsecond or a thousand lifetimes, I soar across the dark void of “the past is gone, the future is not yet here.”

It’s called “transition.” I have come to believe that this transition is the only place that real change occurs. I mean real change, not the pseudo-change that only lasts until the next time my old buttons get punched.

I have noticed that, in our culture, this transition zone is looked upon as a “no-thing,” a noplace between places. Sure, the old trapeze bar was real, and that new one coming towards me, I hope that’s real, too. But the void in between? Is that just a scary, confusing, disorienting nowhere that must be gotten through as fast and as unconsciously as possible?

NO! What a wasted opportunity that would be. I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing and the bars are illusions we dream up to avoid the void where the real change, the real growth, occurs for us. Whether or not my hunch is true, it remains that the transition zones in our lives are incredibly rich places. They should be honored, even savored. Yes, with all the pain and fear and feelings of being out of control that can (but not necessarily) accompany transitions, they are still the most alive, most growth-filled, passionate, expansive moments in our lives.

We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
Anonymous

So, transformation of fear may have nothing to do with making fear go away, but rather with giving ourselves permission to “hang out” in the transition between trapezes. Transforming our need to grab that new bar, any bar, is allowing ourselves to dwell in the only place where change really happens. It can be terrifying. It can also be enlightening in the true sense of the word. Hurtling through the void, we just may learn how to fly.

The Archive

  1. 2020August
  2. 40 most relevant life learnings
  3. January
  4. My learnings in 2019: Time to create a more impactful road ahead
  5. 2019April
  6. When passion meets purpose: How my professional leaps got me to where I am today
  7. 2018February
  8. The hidden talent of a global citizen: Cultural intelligence
  9. 2016December
  10. Yes, yes, yes.
  11. June
  12. Smart Citizenship challenge
  13. May
  14. Lost in translation..perhaps?
  15. April
  16. The future human
  17. January
  18. Big.Energy.Data.Marriage
  19. 2015December
  20. Eye spy…the wanderlust trend
  21. May
  22. THE Biggest Barrier

  23. January
  24. Luffa: On the Sustainability Materials Radar
  25. 2014June
  26. Is it really about understanding evolution?
  27. Making solar mainstream
  28. March
  29. Earth Hour…say what?
  30. Recipe for Driving Sustainable Behaviour Change
  31. Turn the page
  32. 2013October
  33. London Sustainability Jam…nearly 1 month away
  34. August
  35. Proud to be 33!
  36. April
  37. Get up and create something
  38. March
  39. London Service Jam …what makes it special?
  40. January
  41. The future…
  42. Sharing is caring…right?
  43. 6 daily rules to reach your potential
  44. 2012December
  45. Our next raison d’etre…
  46. October
  47. When do you invent?
  48. July
  49. The importance of connection
  50. May
  51. What’s your little red paperclip?
  52. February
  53. The future of community energy
  54. January
  55. Iteration is a Lifestyle
  56. Believe in the drift
  57. Trend-oids
  58. 2012 Vow: Live in the ‘Wow’
  59. 2011September
  60. Lisa Frost.
  61. August
  62. The “Me-Too” Attitude
  63. May
  64. Intro to Paris: For newbie’s
  65. An idea…
  66. February
  67. Random acts of Thank You…like ya mean it!
  68. 2010December
  69. Time to put up and shut up. Bring it, 2011
  70. November
  71. Creating Change…
  72. Air BnB at Startup School
  73. October
  74. Work: A new found freedom
  75. January
  76. Free Events in London. Bliss.
  77. 2009December
  78. Get Excited and Make Things
  79. Internet Stats Galore – Just one Day
  80. November
  81. Giving Thanks Tribute
  82. Let’s combine global tastes for COP15
  83. Future of Green
  84. October
  85. 365 Ways to Change the World – Post for 31 October
  86. For all confused on the term social business and sustainability
  87. August
  88. Yes Please. Me likes these.
  89. July
  90. Co-Creation of Value = Necessary Change
  91. Interested in starting social change?
  92. June
  93. The Becoming of a Design Society: A New American Renaissance
  94. Best in Show – KitKatt Nohr Photo Competition
  95. May
  96. Great Solution for Closed Loop Recycling
  97. Re-think Play
  98. March
  99. Simple
  100. February
  101. MakeMeSustainable
  102. January
  103. Personal Dream Box
  104. 2008December
  105. Dream Box
  106. September
  107. Fresh ideas. Welcome.